he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
