It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
