We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
