garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dicks are not precious.
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