i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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