at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
