Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
