we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize