Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize