Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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