i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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