you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize