Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
