Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
