It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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