i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
