Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Did I show you my penis last night?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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