he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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