ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
