Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she pinky promised me she was 18
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
