last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Randomize
