Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
