I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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