I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
