worst night to have a conscience
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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