It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize