I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
