and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
