i think my tv is drunk
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
