Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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