Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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