guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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