You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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