eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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