ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
