Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sext me about skeletons
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
