he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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