Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
