I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
