I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
