we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I pour the whiskey from now on
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
