The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
