And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
