if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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