words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
