party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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