oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize