I love black thongs
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
