I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it hurts more in the daytime
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
