Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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