Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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