At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
