We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I need a beard to bite.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
