I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize