I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
