I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
