I am puke
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We left the knife in your bed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
