Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
