Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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