youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize