Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
