my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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