I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
