turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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