Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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