My brain says no but my pants say off.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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