Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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