When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
