it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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