420 ftw
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
