The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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