jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
